UC Berkeley: All Freshmen Now Required to Take Alcohol Ed
So now all those staggeringly hammered undergrads will know just how many valuable neurons they're drowning at all those keggers.
UC Berkeley is now requiring its freshmen to take a course in alcohol education. Call it "Alcohol Summer School."
Pfffft. And to think I spent my June and July busting my gluteus maximus to teach summer school in something impractical, like -- oh, I don't know -- history and languages. Then again, sometimes the professoriate isn't providing much of an example. One of my pals at a campus I won't name told me that a certain department got itself permanently banned from a local watering hole for being drunk too often on property.
I almost feel sorry for the nameless undergrad masses who are so deluded and socially stunted that they think getting irremediably sloshed is the only way to enjoy themselves. There's so much more to life, people. But my sympathy wears thin, as in every intro language class there's at least one undergrad who pipes up immediately with the one linguistic question that's burning within the tender minds of our young people: "Miss Minerva, Miss Minerva, how do you say 'beer' in InsertAnyLanguageHere?" (Answer: "Shut up, kid.")
On a related note, read this fabulous op-ed by a British parliament member decrying that the "our towns and city centres are abandoned every night to tribes of pugnacious, drunk, noisy, vomiting louts." Hm, sounds like a weekend by rowdy Ivy undergrads, no?