The Worst European Airports: London Heathrow is #1
Since the holidays are a busy traveling season, here is a new ranking of Europe's worst airports!
#1 on the list as the world's worst? The insufferable hellhole better known as London Heathrow.
Well, all I can say is -- I've spent plenty of hours stranded or delayed at airports, and some are indeed terrible! London Heathrow, though, is in a class by itself. It is a nightmare, an absolute nightmare. It's far too small, it's badly maintained (assuming that someone is even attempting to maintain it at all -- and the whole place smells of stale smoke), some terminals are pitifully mismanaged piles of rubbish, airport expansion has progressed in such random fashion that I think a 5-year-old must have masterminded it, and British Airways is forever late or unpleasant or both. I'm not too fond of London Stansted either, though I do very much like the cheap flights! Gatwick's slightly better, though I fail to see how any British airport could possibly be more of a disaster than horrid Heathrow. The place is a Dantean underworld that devours travelers' souls, leaving only shells of human beings stumbling through security lines that look like the mobs of dead phantoms in the Inferno.
<Digression> The trouble is, sometimes one can't avoid traveling through Heathrow, and I have to say, making connecting flights through Heathrow is a form of mental anguish equalled only by my grad school comprehensive exams. I think I'd rather wear a shirt made of broken glass than connect through Heathrow. The last time I had to do this, I landed at Heathrow -- all disheveled and exhausted from the trans-Atlantic flight -- and dragged myself through customs. My British Airways flight was late arriving, so when I got to the BA desk, the surly staff (and I do mean surly) informed me flatly that my connecting BA flight had just left Heathrow. "When's the next flight, please?" I asked, hanging on precariously to my fading smile. The next flight, I found, was not due to depart until hours later -- from GATWICK. "Sorry," said the ticket agent. "You'll have to collect your bags at the baggage claim and then go to Gatwick." This is NOT what weary grad students want to hear! Especially weary penniless grad students, because I then had to spend money I didn't plan to spend on an airport shuttle to Gatwick. At least I wasn't alone, since that shuttle was soon full of other unhappy passengers, many of whom had been on my overseas flight. As it was, I ended up spending hours and hours at Gatwick too, with the stained carpet, the shabby walls, the unfortunate crowds of fellow travelers all searching in vain for a place to sit down. You know, once -- just once -- I'd like to see a British airport that isn't a total disgrace. I hope somebody thinks to improve the airports before the London Olympics! </Digression>
So far the only good things I have to say about the London airports are the airport trains -- so you can jump on one and flee as quickly as possible.
Rome Fiumicino is a mess too, Naples Capodichino is an exercise in dirt and despair and creepy mafioso-types, and Palermo Borsellino would be funny if it weren't real. In a sense, the Italian mess isn't as wretched as the British mess, because -- frankly -- nobody's terribly surprised that the Italians are disorganized. I actually expect the Italians to be utterly chaotic. (Alitalia . . . Is it an airline or an opera? Because after an experience with Alitalia, you'll want to re-enact that great scene from Tosca -- you know, the one where Tosca commits suicide by throwing herself off a castle.) But the Brits? Come on now, the same people who once ran an empire that spanned the globe (and this before computers and cellphones and what not) now apparently cannot even manage a few airports with any degree of care or competence. What a disappointment -- and anyway since I'm an Anglophile and student of British history, I had expected more. Besides, the miserable heap called Heathrow is, for many travelers, their first impression of the UK. Not too promising, that.
Still, some truly horrific airports are American ones. Anybody who has ever been delayed at Chicago O'Hare can surely confirm this! I will do almost anything to avoid flying through O'Hare. I once spent five hours sitting on the floor there, gnawing at my own limbs. Chicago Midway's terrible too, really. I've fallen asleep on the floor there too, and believe me when I say, it is not an experience I recommend. NEVER FLY THROUGH CHICAGO AT CHRISTMAS! New York JFK isn't great either; it's got Heathrow Disease -- it's become too small for the number of planes and people who use it, it's shabby and ill-kept, and it's simply not a pleasant place.
In the end? A terrible airport basically sends the message "We don't care about travelers. You are not people; you're only sheep -- and since we've already got your money when you paid for your flights, we don't care if you're miserable traveling."
Next time you're flying through Heathrow? Take a good book with you. You're going to be there for a while.