Adventures in Public Transport: A Boozer Loser Calls Me a "Republican Oppressor"!!!!
The following incident happened yesterday afternoon on the way home from Nerdworld. At the time I was absolutely furious, but now I think it was all pretty darn funny. I report it to you, gentle reader, for your amusement as best as I can recall it. I swear I'm not making this up.
Nota bene: this is not a screed about Republicans or Democrats or whatever. As far as I'm concerned, this is a screed about "why, oh why, can't people behave decently with a modicum of common courtesy?" On to the tale, in which your humble correspondent attempts to ensure her rights as an American to life, liberty, and the pursuit of being left the heck alone to mind her own freaking business. For the record, political extremists on both ends of the spectrum leave me absolutely cold, but I must admit, far left loons are much more common here, and they always rub me the wrong way -- because they're RUDE.
Setting: en route home from a meeting with a professor, so I'm dressed rather nicely. I am at the train stop. Off to the side, there is a figure sitting on the asphalt, looking shady -- a slobby looking middle-aged guy in a dirty old T-shirt, smoking a cigarette, holding a plastic bag through which a six-pack of beer was clearly visible. He attempts to address me: "Miss . . . Miss . . . !"
I ignore him by making a call to my brother on my cellphone. But Sibling isn't there! All I can do is leave a message, speaking loudly in Taiwanese. But as soon as I ended the call, I hear again: "Miss . . ."
I turn around. I hate being addressed by perfect strangers, especially by boozy bums. But I thought I'd try to give common courtesy a chance here. Maybe he just wanted to ask the time of day.
He starts conversationally with "Do you think we should impeach the President?"
(What? The guy had a glint in his eye. CRAP! I've run into some loony left-fringe partisan.)
"No," I say.
"NO?!"
"No," I say conversationally. "Because as we saw with the attempt to impeach Clinton, it's hard to do and not worth the pain."
"Clinton was a bad man but a good president."
(Golly, here we go with Saint Clinton!)
"Clinton had the good fortune of being in office when the economy was good," I reply, hanging on to my politeness.
The guy starts in immediately on the war in Iraq. (I'm losing my patience -- what the HECK? Is he just picking fights with every random commuter who happens by?) "Clinton was better than Bush on Iraq. Clinton bombed Iraq."
"And it didn't do any good," I countered. (By this point, I'm annoyed.)
"He had the sanctions!"
I reply calmly, "And as we see now in the UN Oil-for-Food scandal, the sanctions weren't accomplishing anything."
Boozehound looks flustered and proceeds to howl, "The sanctions were put in place by the first President Bush to make sure his son would be President!"
(Wait a minute. He just said Clinton was great for sanctions -- now the sanctions are bad? The guy can't even keep hold of his own argumentation.)
Now he goes for the screaming. "Don't you care that 2100 American soldiers are dead because Bush lied???!!!!"
(Now as soon as any shrieking extremist says "Bush Lied!" I usually turn them off, because there's no chance of a reasonable conversation. Like at that moment, because then it all escalated. For the record, casualty numbers at last report were more like 1800. For comparison, some 2000 GIs fell on D-Day alone.)
He goes on, "What are we even doing in Iraq anyway?? Bush stole the election!!!" And before he could start in on "No Blood for Oil," I cut in as sweetly as I could:
"The purpose for that entire part of the world is to establish a democracy in Iraq."
At this point, he starts to sneer at me condescendingly. (Now condescension has no effect on me. I'm a grad student, remember? Besides... I'll sound elitist, but oh well: an Ivy League graduate student won't usually feel too crushed that a train station boozer sneers at her.) As for stolen elections, 2000 was disputable. 2004 was manifestly not.
Boozie then howls at me: "What about Cindy Sheehan? Bush LIED!"
(Guy was clearly fishing for stuff to throw at me.)
"So? What am I supposed to do about it? The media has it covered."
He starts huffing. "I bet you're feeling pretty proud of yourself!"
(That's a bit much. You wanna mess with me? Fine. And did I detect a bit of envy in all that too?)
"I am, actually," I say coldly. "My parents came to this country with nothing. We worked hard and we've done well for ourselves. And I don't feel oppressed by anyone."
That really seems to push his buttons, because he then yells, "It's because of the Democrats that you can even go to college and get an education!!!"
(At this point, I'm torn between laughing hysterically at this total BS or laughing hysterically at the sheer histrionic rudeness of this guy! And for the record, Dem-backed affirmative action is often detrimental to Asian-Americans in terms of college. So there.)
I answer, "Nobody gave me anything to go to college. I studied hard and made something of myself."
(This is called "a work ethic and the American Dream," FYI.)
And of course, since I said this and was apparently a happy, self-made individual, it drives him absolutely crazy, because he then howls at me: "So you're playing the Republican game, aren't you???!!!!"
(So here we go -- he doesn't like what I have to say, so he demonizes me with the worst epithet he can think of: Republican. Pfffft. Plus, since when was working hard and succeeding a Republican thing? I thought it was an AMERICAN thing.)
"This is a free country," I explain as patiently as I can. "You can have your opinion, and I can have mine."
This display of free speech-goes-both-ways proceeds to whip him into a mindless frothing rage because he then spews at me: "THE REPUBLICANS ARE OPPRESSORS!!!!!'
(Wait a minute. He first implies I was a Republican. Then he says the Republicans are oppressors. So logically . . . I felt like giggling. Imagine, a white man just told an Asian woman that she was an 'oppressor'!)
But this point, I have finally lost my temper. "If I'm feeling oppressed by anyone, I'm feeling oppressed by YOU," I shoot at him. This statement actually seems to catch him off-guard. "You don't even know me and you're making all these assumptions about me and haranguing me. Listen, this is a free country, so why don't you have your opinion and I'll have mine, and we can live peaceably in our own little worlds!"
He put up his hands and made a big show of backing off. "OK, OK, I asked for your opinion and I have it."
I shrug and look pointedly away, just as I hear a last pathetically snippy comment from Boozie: "And don't think I don't know what 'harangue' means."
(Jerk. What a total sphincter.)
I ignore him, but I'm also watching him out the corner of my eye. If he made a single move toward me, I was fully minded to take pre-emptive action. My closest weapon? My shoulder bag, full of 40 pounds worth of hardbound Library of Doom nerd tomes. I would've broadsided him with it to knock him off-balance and/or proceeded to SING -- you know, ladies, "solar plexus, instep, nose, and groin"!
As it turned out, nothing happened, because my transport came and I soon sped away, virtually incandescent with rage.
And that, gentle reader, is why I have nothing but complete and utter contempt for the foaming-at-the-mouth, mad-with-mindless-hatred Howard Dean wing of the Democratic Party.
Besides, how dare Boozie impose himself on me like that? It's RUDE to harass a stranger. It's RUDE to pick fights with ladies. The whole thing is a little picture of what's horribly wrong with the far left -- it's sinking into a morass of its own hatred and impotent rage. For a group that supposedly upholds tolerance and multiculturalism, its little representative just proceeded to slander and insult a complete stranger -- who happens to be one of those minorities they're supposed to love so much. But nooooooooooooooooooo. I am not a fellow frothing fool, so I must be the Enemy.
(Note to the Dems: If you people ever want to win another election, you'll (a) muzzle your fringe basket cases or at least disassociate yourselves from them, and (b) remember that most of America is made up of decent, hardworking citizens who are turned off by these little political tantrums. I'll tell you what, a professor of mine who is by no means a Republican told me: that these kinds of extremism will only radicalize people in the other political direction -- i.e., drive them into the Republican camp. The Republicans have lots of problems, but in comparison the Dems are unacceptable when they countenance this kind of far fringe fever swamp delirium. Michael Moore should not be your spokesdude.)
Hilarious but pitiful. For the record, I feel no sympathy whatsoever for Boozie at the train station. If he ever messes with me again, I'm going to call the cops. And, oh yeah, two words: PEPPER SPRAY.